I disappear for quite some times from blog-sphere, and to be exact is near to 3 months.
By the way, i find it's funny and ironic that things always happen in the opposite way to what is expected.
Few months ago, I was desperately craving for someone to care. Could stand the feeling of being alone. Any man who shows a lil care might be able to become another part of me, easily, even though i just like him. Until I met this man who showed a lil bit of interest in me. He is really an interesting person, and I do LIKE him a lot, but not to say love. Slowly I showed a lil bit of interest in him too. But the respond I got from him was totally a big disappointment for me. He smiled and said,
'U're just looking around =)'
I was angry. I felt like I've been fooled. He showed interest in me, but ended up when I was ready and he quited. At that point of time, I've been blinded by all sorts of confusions. Being irrationally, I could only think of how pathetic I was to be fooled.
But now, I found out I was proven to be wrong. He is right, I was just looking around.
They said, the best way to let go a broken relationship is to start off with a new one. I do think this works, and it's the best short cut for you to get thru the hard times. Most people like to take the back alley short cut instead of going thru the big roads and got stuck in the traffic jam to get to their destination. But do you realise, the beauty of the view of big cities around the big roads might be missed out when you are walking thru the dark back alley.
To be frank, I am glad, and I am proud that I ended up did not took the short cuts.
despite all the wrong ways i took
at least I've experienced and gained from it
despite all the bad shits I been thru
I still manage to stand up and walk straight
U'll never know the beauty of the things you get if you do not pay for it
Take a moment to glance back and you'll be proud of who you are
The bad shits that happened to you will now turn to the essence for you to stand up, walk straight and survive.
Now, I am able to stand all alone by myself. I am independent and capable in handling stuffs. I am no longer looking around like what i used to do. I've decided not to involve in a relationship, at least for this moment, and I would have nothing to lose. I start to love myself, like what people said, 'love youself to be loved'.
The funny thing is, these men start showing up. Nice man who loves you, this is what I was craving for before this, isn't it? Rich man who owns an airline, who drives my dream car, who can buy me all the luxuries I want, this is what I've been dreaming of all the times, isn't it?
However, I did not respond to any of these request, since I've made up my mind. It's funny yet ironic right? When you're looking around, you don't find any one who can satisfy you; and when you've decided to stop, these people start showing up.
Anyway, a big 'Thanks' to the man who reminds me by telling me,
'U're just looking around =)'
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