I don't need a man

Yes, i can survive without man

I realised there are just too much disappointments. Do you realized that you can always get the unwanted one easily, but not the one you wanted. It's true.

I've been wandering,

I've been looking around,

I've met a few,

I've been thru,

I've been thinking dat u'll come back around

now, i'll get over, and stop hanging on

I prayed. And i been asking around,will Jesus disappoint me? And now i realized i was so damn wrong. The world runs by human being, but not Jesus. Jesus would not give me everything i prayed for. He'll accompany me all the time, giving me courage to change the things i wanted, while i need to work hard to achieve what i wanted. Disappointments is cause by human, not Jesus.

I do not need a man. I do not need any commitment. I do not to be attached.

I will have nothing to lose, since I'm not owning in the 1st place

I will not be taken for granted, since I'm not giving away

Someone taught me, boyfriend and girlfriend is just a term, what does matters is whether im feeling happy when im together with the man. I was confused, and lately, I found this works. I'll enjoy the happy moments and i do not need any commitment from the man.

I find this is a better way for me =)

Friday, November 28, 2008

Yes, Im not in mood again!

Was in bloody bad mood today. It's been long enuff dat i have not feel so damn down and frustated. And it's not bcz im having mood swing or PMS. 

Here Im gonna rant about things that make me feel so damn pissed off today!

1st thing, i jz started to deal with the warranty for the products such as D-Link, 3Com, Scandisk and others. Today is the 1st day i learn about the process of dealing with all these warranty matters. And so it happens that my mentor thought dat im so damn fuckin smart dat she does not need to explain in details to me. Ended up i tried to figure out the solutions one by one by crackin my head out. I feel so damn stress out! Or should i think in the other way, i could write so in my internship logbook which im gonna submit when im back in college 'I kept myself occupied, learning new things every single day, trying to solve problems and be a decision maker, meeting new ppl wit different characteristic everyday dat i've improved my interpersonal skills bla bla bla....' DUHhhhhhhhhh~!!!!

2nd thing, someone makes me feel so damn irritated today. While i was busy figuring out the solutions for my work and rampaged thru the faulty products in the boxez, this someone was free enuff to cause me some unnecessary problems. Ended up, i was feelin so damn fucked up and being rude to him, by tellin him 'I've got more den enuff problems for myself, whether u go get laid or watever u did, watever u tell others i don't gv a damn, u do not need to report to me!' I kno he was trying to grab my attention, but too bad, and it's fucking pathet for him dat he used the wrong method.

3rd thing, someone is trying to escape, by not answering me the questions i asked him. After so much things happened, i guess he wouldn't have the courage to face me anymore. Fine, forget it, i don't blame him.

So since im feelin so damn fucked up, i don't wish to go home as early as 6 and stay at home all alone, wondering who's gonna take me out. So i called Terry, Ernest, James and the gang out for gaming. Right after i called the gang out, tonite itself, Alvin dated me for dinner, and Jen said he's coming over my place. I feel like calling Ernest telling him dat we gonna call off for tonite gaming session. But i did not. I cant ditch them since all my frens are being so 'give face' when they kno im not in mood and decided to accompany me for the nite. Ended up ditch Alvin for dinner, and the hang out session. Komenasai~Hontoni komenasai =(

Just so you kno, im a noob in Dota game. But guess wat, the noob went beyond Godlike in one of the Dota games tonight! Wohhooooooo~!!! 

Right after i reached home, Jen sms-ed me saying dat he's coming over my place wit someone important to him. I thought that he's gonna surprise me by telling me dat he jz got himself a new girl friend. But when he called me and told me dat he has reached, i saw no one in the car. He surprised me when i saw two furkids, J and Silvia in the car! So the two siblings were busying licking me all over my neck and my face on our 1st meeting. They looks pretty =)

Silvia being jealous and mad at J

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Couldn't slp la...

It's 2a.m. in the morning, and yet im stil awake. 

Went for my company movie outing on friday nite at Cineleisure. We watched Quantum of Solace, and my verdict for the movie is....

It's ok la...

James Bond is merely so cool even thou he's old.

Few of us went to Santuary after the movie. Had quite a lot of fun wit Raja dat nite. 

I found dat things always don't go according to my plan. Or i shud say, things don't go according to my plan most of the time. Sometimes i jz wish dat i can be true to myself. I hope dat i can be a lil bit more logical than always act emotionally. I kno well and clear things dat ppl going thru, and perhaps i shouldn't take it for granted by ask for more. I kno how ppl feel in certain situations, dat's why i try not to make ppl feel bad. So im not taking any action, but in fact i wish to.

And there's something i don't get it why. Why there r these ppl who like to being 8-po, viewing my friendster profile to figure out something. I jz don't get it wat are they able to find out after viewing my profile! 

Anyway, i jz pray dat i would hv a better tomorrow... Hate to be in this way.

And thx God, at least i stil have frens who are willing to accompany me when im having hard times. Thx Ernest for calling me out jz now in da evening. Glad dat i don't have to stay at home all alone, thinking bout things that i shouldn't think of. And guess wat...he showed me his Silvia S15 convertible when he dropped me home. Never expect dat S15 convertible looks so much yeng compare to the non-convertible one. And it's rare in Malaysia!

Ernest's baby

Friday, November 14, 2008

A brand new place for me

....cz i moved again. This time i move to our company warehouse. It's kinda far away from our HQ office in Wisma Academy.

Was suppose to make it to the warehouse tis morning, but i decided against it. I went back to HQ office in Wisma Academy in the morning, told Lee Sia dat i cant find the way to go to warehouse. In fact this is jz an excuse, i could jz go to Jalan 225 and ask for direction. But i did not do dat. I jz dont feel like going to warehouse. In the end, i have to. So Sim fetched me thr, and introduced me to the staffs at the warehouse. And...most of them there are 'ah neh' or Jen's so called 'Raja' (indian).

My colleagues from Wisma Academy are kind enuff. They called and asked how am i doing in the warehouse. I miss them so much. Hoping someone would come n visit me during lunch break n pick me up for meal. In the end, everybody were so bz, and Jen dont feel like comin since he's driving his R34 to office today, and promised that he's coming this wednesday.

*praying that Jen wouldn't ditch me* LOL

Im feeling so damn lonely over thr, witout Jen, Roy, Terry, Marvin and others in HQ office.

My job scope in warehouse is fine, im not bundle up wit stress, and at least it's more interesting compare to my job in Credit team. I meet up wit different ppl, requesting them to sign some documents and then do the checking before handing over the stuffs for them.

Jen came to pick me up after work. And guess wat, im the last one to leave. Everybody in the warehouse usually go home sharp at 6! WTF!

Here, im gonna tell u how pathetic i was...

Was waiting at the guard house, all alone, with a few 'ah neh' security guards. Got nothing better to do den to 'meow~' at a stray cat, and start worrying since da sky is getting darker, thinkin whether one of the 'ah neh' thr will take this chance to bring me home by bike.

Damn pathetic rite??lol

Jen got to the wrong way and needs to take a BIG u-turn to get to fetch me. Again, im sure he will thinks dat im being an ungrateful bitch again. Was so damn happy when i saw the blue-color-vroom-vroommmm passed by (he never been to warehouse before, dat's y he dunno whr it is and missed). I started jumpin while shouting at him over the phone 'IM HERE!IM HERE!!'

I feel as if i was dying to see him while i was waiting patiently. He hyped me up when i saw him appeared in front of me! Always never fail to make me happy =)

Monday, November 10, 2008

My virginity...for drifting experience

Since Jen brought me to drift on the road last friday, im addicted to it so much rite now.

It's WOW!!! *thumbs up*

It's so damn F-U-N!!! And so i gave my virginity to Jen. Whooopppsss!!! Should be my drifting virginity. =P

I had my eyes concentrating on the movement of his hands on the steering, it's damn fast-and-furious and i cant catch how he did it.LOL.

Anyway, i really enjoy it when the car slides while taking corners, and i love the speed! For me this is not scary at all, instead i think dat this is an...ermmm...i should call it as an art! Haha!

Jen in action (Bukit Jalil)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

If i were a boy

Currently addicted to this song: 

Beyonce-If i were a boy

If I were a boy 
Even just for a day 
I’d roll outta bed in the morning 
And throw on what I wanted then go 
Drink beer with the guys 
And chase after girls 
I’d kick it with who I wanted 
And I’d never get confronted for it. 
Cause they’d stick up for me. 

If I were a boy 
I think I could understand 
How it feels to love a girl 
I swear I’d be a better man. 
I’d listen to her 
Cause I know how it hurts 
When you lose the one you wanted 
Cause he’s taken you for granted 
And everything you had got destroyed 

If I were a boy 
I would turn off my phone 
Tell everyone it’s broken 
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone 
I’d put myself first 
And make the rules as I go 
Cause I know that she’d be faithful 
Waitin’ for me to come home

If I were a boy 
I think I could understand 
How it feels to love a girl 
I swear I’d be a better man. 
I’d listen to her 
Cause I know how it hurts 
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed 

It’s a little too late for you to come back 
Say its just a mistake 
Think I’d forgive you like that 
If you thought I would wait for you 
You thought wrong 

You know when you act like that 
I don't think you realize how it makes me look 
or feel 

Act like what 
Why are you so jealous 
It's not like i'm sleeping with the guy 

What 

What 

I said yo 
Why are you so jealous 
It aint like I'm sleepin with the girl 

But you’re just a boy 
You don’t understand 
Yeah you don’t understand 
How it feels to love a girl someday 
You wish you were a better man 
You don’t listen to her 
You don’t care how it hurts 
Until you lose the one you wanted 
Cause you’ve taken her for granted 
And everything you have got destroyed 
But you’re just a boy  

if i were a boy, i would know the reason why...

Saturday, November 1, 2008