~confession of a bitch~

Fake it or show your ugly truth

2009-11-05T01:31:00.005+08:00

Have you ever wonder are you the person who you suppose to be?
Or you might realize that you're just someone who you want to be?
This is something which is highly questionable!

Speaking of this, we might find lotsa excuses for ourselves. Sometimes I question myself, why can't I just be myself, why can't I say yes to simplicity instead of trying to match with others' pace?
At some point of time, I don't know who I really am. All I know is I have to strive to be a tougher bitch in order to get the things I want, and also so that people will stereotype you as a perfect person.
I hide my weaknesses. Or at some point of time, I tried to cover it by ranting about what I'm proud of myself.
I am really a demanding person, seriously demanding. Though at some point of time I feel that I don't deserve such good things. And it's human nature to find ways to alleviate all the shits that hinder their paths. It ended sometimes that I got screwed up by the stupid ideas which I thought that they were splendid one.

Have you ever realize how tiring it is in faking yourself?
I realized it.
And I'm glad, at least I can still take off the mask and be the 100% me in front when confronting some people in my life. I realized how nice and comfortable it is to be myself again.

Lead me to the right way, please?

2009-11-03T21:38:00.005+08:00

Alright... it has come to this. I've been away from blogspot for too long.

And I've been having misty mind for the past few days...
There are times when we need to make very tough decisions. And every decisions we made we'll afraid if a wrong one is being made. Sometimes we need to sacrifice, even if we are so unwilling to let go. But for the sake of everyone, we hope that we'll always do the right thing.

Doing so is not so that you'll stereotype me as a better person, but it's just that I feel guilty and I don't think this is the right thing to do.

I know God will always take good care of me, and make sure I take the right steps. =)

Being stupid again

2009-09-30T03:04:00.001+08:00

I thought you put me in rapture for the past few months

but now I realize how silly I was...

Serious diet, for the very 1st time

2009-07-28T21:10:00.005+08:00

I've been busier than a bee lately. Lotsa assignments coming up, and very very soon it will be my finals.

I went to club with my babes last week, ever since we have not meet up for 3 weeks and now she's back in KL. The first thing she said to me when she sees me...

'Hey!Since when you become so big size 1 huh?'

I was shocked! It hurts!

In fact i did noticed dat, I noticed dat my arms grow bigger than before. It's just that i never tot that it will be this bad. I told myself I’m going to lose this weight and keep it off this time. It's really tough for people like me to go on diet. Lack of determination.

Looking at Ramlee burgers, MCDonald's fried chicken, and all others yummy yummy food, I told myself to get a bottle of water and forget bout the food. It's torturing!

Some men starts making fun of my arms. You know, men being men. Their preferences will never change. Tall and slim women dat's what they called hot. Women like me, big arms, big tummy, elephant laps, small boobs and small arse is totally contrary with the word 'hot'. Pathetic rite?

Gaining weight really makes a woman gets upset =(

Readers, wish me luck.

Rainbow after rain

2009-07-13T13:45:00.002+08:00

Someone thought i cancel off my blog account, ever since i change my blog's URL.

I'm surprise.

To found out he actually view my blog.

I got the answers, for the biggest question that I've been wondering, bout him.

I'm feeling contented. And glad.

Things are not as bad as I thought.

I'm glad that he is able to think and act based on accordance with logic and reasons.

He stopped my head first action.

I'm now off from vindication. =)

02-05-2009

2009-05-06T18:18:00.006+08:00

The smell of your skin still lingers on the shirt, and it's fading. Yet, i do not want to wash it.

My mind, and perhaps my feelings being took control. It happened, less than five seconds. Though I always wish that tis wouldn't happen. I heard your voice, murmuring beside my ears. Could hardly remember what you said, even I tried my best to recall. Your skin moved to and fro against me, soft and gentle. I feel your lips, kissed you as if you were mine. The adrenaline was so strong. Real strong.

I know, I shouldn't do this. This is a wrong thing to do.

But I still want to. I want to pleasure you. To feel as if you were mine, at least for a moment. You found this is not the right thing to do. Everything came to a halt.

Lying beside each other. You asked, 'What are you thinking?'

And I said, 'Don't know.'

In fact I know. I just don't want to share. Or perhaps, I wish to share. It's just that I'm afraid of the consequences after I share.

I couldn't see thru your heart, or even your mind. Do not know what you were thinking. But I guess there's something on your mind. Couldn't remember what I was thinking either. Of all sudden, something came into my mind, got my emotions runing high. At the same time too, though I do not know what was that in your mind, we held each other hands tight. Slowly, we hugged each other so tight that I wouldn't mind if I got choke.

Is that what's on your mind are something hurtful to you?

It was a very quiet night. Everybody was asleep, except the neighbour's dogs. They barked. I heard you breathing beside me. We were so close. So close. Slowly inhaled when you exhaled, and exhaled when you inhaled. Afraid of taking too much air might make you unbreathable.

We hugged. You kissed me on my forehead, my cheek, and my lips. I know, those kisses could represent anything, except love.

Time passed. I rubbed your head, played with your hair when you were having your sweet siesta. I wish I could stay like this. I do not want to wake up, afraid of facing the reality. But I know, when the dawn breaks, I'll have to go.

And finally, it's time for me to pack and leave. Things wouldn't be the same as tonight once I step out. But I have to. It's time to wake up from my dream.

Everything that happened were too good to be true, and I do not deserve those, from you. Of all sudden I have no idea how should I face you. I decided to disappear, from your life. I ran away from KL for few days. It's hurt to stay near to you, reminds me of everything about you. Since that, my feelings got confused. Struggle in between like and love.

Some ppl may see what was there all along, though things happened. And then there are some other ppl, who run as far as they can, so that they don't have to look at themselve. People who know me well will know that I am the later one. I hate doing this too, running away from what happened and you. I hate myself for being so pathetic when I blog about nostalgia things like this.

I kissed you on your cheek before I left. You do not know, that was a kiss goodbye.

And when I was about to run away from you, you called. Looking at the caller's name, I told myself not to pick up. But ended up, I said 'hello'.

Are you true? Or fake?

2009-04-25T12:18:00.004+08:00

My period comes. Been having PMS for few days. I get angry and frustrated easily.

I tried to control my temper, but I find it is hard. I easily throw some blows to people around me. It is almost the same for any ordinary days I suppose. I tend to show my dissatisfaction straight when I got into some situations which turn me unhappy. Most people will fake a smile in front of you even if they don't like you. But I'm totally opposite. I hardly do this.

It's hard that I don't have many friends I can hang out with. Part of the reasons is because I do not fake things in front of the person I don't like. Don't you think there's no point for you to fake everything and hang out with those people, don't you? It’s hypocrisy for them to pretend that they like you but in fact they don’t.

It wasn't because I prefer to be alone. It's pathetic. As if you are so desperately want to have lotsa friends to hang out with, as if you do not want to be left out by others.

Not to say that I'm good, you know. I'm just indifferent. Neither good nor bad.

You deal with so many people everyday, but how many of them you think he/she will be a true friend? Though I hang out with boys and girls, but I still take precautions. Who knows some of them may have bad intentions. I can't deny that I'm gullible. That's why I have to learn how to protect myself, in order you, people who fakes things out there would not have the chance to take advantage on me.

Friends who hang out with you might also betray you someday. The real side of these people will reveal someday in some hard situations.

Man who comes after you might fake everything in front of you too in order to take advantage on you. They lie to you telling you how much he loves you, do stupid stuffs for you so that you will believe that he actually loves you, and so that you would believe that he is actually serious to you.

I tried to protect myself, taking precautions, got into fight with some bloody fool who tried to tell you how sincere he is, yelled at you saying 'why can't you understand my feelings since all the things I did for you?!' You cry in the room, feeling sad and fed up with them, thinking that you are just trying to protect yourself and they have no right to stop you. He slammed the door and left, and next you won't hear anything from him. No text message, no phone calls. Is this how he shows you that he's serious? I become sensitive. Every single movement you made, every single word you said, I will observe, I listen and I analyze.

Guys always get fed up with me, saying that I am over sensitive. Since all the shits crammed and happened to me, i guess there is nothing wrong for me to protect myself rite?

Anyway, I'm glad that there are still people who will sit right beside you and wipe your tears after the fight instead of slamming the door, left and then disappear from your life. =)

Still waiting, for the right one

2009-04-24T16:47:00.005+08:00

Went on a date last weekend. A date with an ordinary friend who I barely understand him. But most importantly, he is the man who I mentioned in my previous post, who reminds me that I was just looking around.

We went for dinner, a couple of drinks and movie at The Gardens. It's a great date. =)

Well, to be honest, he is my cup of tea. I like him a lot, but not to say love. He is someone who is interesting and fun to hang out with. Someone who couldn't remember where he parked his car. Someone who passed me popcorn left behind by others on the cinema’s table after I came out from the washroom, which I thought he bought it. Someone who tried to burn my ass with his mom’s car seat’s heater on the first time he send me back home from office. Someone who chased after me in the shop with a pair of ballet shoes for kids, asking me to try it on. Someone who gave me an octopus last Christmas. And also someone who takes his job seriously, but not relationship.

When talking about relationship, he said 'Who the hell will think of getting married?'

Exactly! Who the hell will want to get married so soon? Commitments and responsibilities are all seems to be a burden/trouble for me. We are just way too young to think of getting serious!

I always think that it is better not to get too serious in a relationship. I need to watch out for myself, so that I would not be the one who get hurts. It’s just like what others are doing. Say I’m selfish. But I think I’m doing the right thing to protect myself.

I'm 21 this year. Been thru 4 relationships. But as you can see, I'm currently single.
I enjoy the life of being single. No commitments, I can hang out with whoever I want, I can do whatever shit I like without need to report to my partner, and do not need to seek approval like a kid to get to go out with friends. This is the beauty of single rite?

Though sometimes you’ll feel lonely, but what's the point to immerse yourself into a relationship just to ease your loneliness, and then been thru several broken relationships before you meet the right one? They say love just comes and goes, and to that, I totally agree. You might find I’m hilarious rite, don’t you? LOL

I believe Mr.Right will appear at the RIGHT time, and at the RIGHT place. There is no need for you to be hurry and look around. It is always will be better for you to take your time, observe the people around you before you make the most brilliant right choice. Like what they said, a good meal should not be hurried. =D

In my preceding relationships I started off without knowing my partner well enuff. We did not take time to know each other’s behavior well, did not take time to find out whether are we able to go well with each other. As long as the feeling comes, as long as both of us have a click, then we will carry our relationship one step ahead.
We’ve been really lovely and sweet when the relationship just got started. But after awhile, we find that actually we don’t really suit each others. We always got into fight. We tried to change. However I don’t see the point of changing yourself for your partner. That is not the real you anymore.
Even if you want to change, to which extend you can change? There will still be an immense gap between both of you.

Anyway, time will show me my Mr.Right. =)

Another late nite depression

2009-04-14T02:09:00.002+08:00

I texted him, a week ago.

But i never get any respond, even until now.

Am i still expecting? I hope not.

I don't deserve a reply i guess

Ironic

2009-04-08T00:49:00.010+08:00

I disappear for quite some times from blog-sphere, and to be exact is near to 3 months.

By the way, i find it's funny and ironic that things always happen in the opposite way to what is expected.

Few months ago, I was desperately craving for someone to care. Could stand the feeling of being alone. Any man who shows a lil care might be able to become another part of me, easily, even though i just like him. Until I met this man who showed a lil bit of interest in me. He is really an interesting person, and I do LIKE him a lot, but not to say love. Slowly I showed a lil bit of interest in him too. But the respond I got from him was totally a big disappointment for me. He smiled and said,

'U're just looking around =)'

I was angry. I felt like I've been fooled. He showed interest in me, but ended up when I was ready and he quited. At that point of time, I've been blinded by all sorts of confusions. Being irrationally, I could only think of how pathetic I was to be fooled.

But now, I found out I was proven to be wrong. He is right, I was just looking around.

They said, the best way to let go a broken relationship is to start off with a new one. I do think this works, and it's the best short cut for you to get thru the hard times. Most people like to take the back alley short cut instead of going thru the big roads and got stuck in the traffic jam to get to their destination. But do you realise, the beauty of the view of big cities around the big roads might be missed out when you are walking thru the dark back alley.

To be frank, I am glad, and I am proud that I ended up did not took the short cuts.

despite all the wrong ways i took

at least I've experienced and gained from it

despite all the bad shits I been thru

I still manage to stand up and walk straight

U'll never know the beauty of the things you get if you do not pay for it

Take a moment to glance back and you'll be proud of who you are

The bad shits that happened to you will now turn to the essence for you to stand up, walk straight and survive.

Now, I am able to stand all alone by myself. I am independent and capable in handling stuffs. I am no longer looking around like what i used to do. I've decided not to involve in a relationship, at least for this moment, and I would have nothing to lose. I start to love myself, like what people said, 'love youself to be loved'.

The funny thing is, these men start showing up. Nice man who loves you, this is what I was craving for before this, isn't it? Rich man who owns an airline, who drives my dream car, who can buy me all the luxuries I want, this is what I've been dreaming of all the times, isn't it?

However, I did not respond to any of these request, since I've made up my mind. It's funny yet ironic right? When you're looking around, you don't find any one who can satisfy you; and when you've decided to stop, these people start showing up.

Anyway, a big 'Thanks' to the man who reminds me by telling me,

'U're just looking around =)'

A boy friend?

2009-01-04T20:08:00.007+08:00

Seems like it has been ages since the very last time i updated my blog.

Streamyx connection at my place in SS2 being terminated since my stupid housemate did not pay the bills, so i've been stayin offline for a couple of weeks. And now, finally...i'm able to come online. =)

A few people asked me this question lately

'What do you want in a boyfriend?'

My 1st answer will be, he has to be someone who knows the way to keep the relationship interesting. He has to be someone romantic, who can gives me a sweet surprises especially on special occasions and would be able to get me hype up. Girls love surprise, right? I find it is important for a guy to know how to keep a relationship interesting, especially after being together for sometimes. U do not want to do the same thing every single day, repeating the same routine, saying the same words FOR YEARS, do you? Im sure you do not want the relationship to be dull and so do I.

He has to be someone smart and intelligent too i guess. I want someone who can challenge me to be a better person. Since im improving myself now, I always thinks that i deserve to have a better man. I would want to have a man who tries to improve himself, in any way, career and personalities wise. I am the kind of girl who has high embitious, and of cz i wouldn't want my man to be someone who is barren or gives the 'like-i-care' kinda attitude towards work. He needs to have the same intellectual level as me or superior than me. =)

3rd, he has to be someone who will comfort me whenever i face problems, instead of nagging at me. When you're tormented by all the problems around you, you would need someone to comfort you, or probably u'll scream at the whole world 'LEAVE ME ALONE!'. You definately would not want to have someone to nag at you and cause you greater exasperation. But some guys just don't understand this. I hate guys who nag at you as if he's the most brilliant and insightful man on planet earth.

Besides, he has to be someone who will notice the little details about me, and appreciates them. He needs to have very strong observations, to knows what are the things i like, and what are those i hate.

Within few months time, i've changed a lot. I used to be someone who wants my boy friend to call me every single nite, text me every single day. And since I started working for my internship, I realised how tiring it is. I'm feeling sorry for being so demanding for wanting a working man to call me every single nite. Now, I do not want a boy friend who accompanies me 24/7. I do not need a boy friend who text me whole day long. Meeting each other once a week is just fine for me. I do not think that we need to stay together more frequent to keep the relationship going on, especially if the guy is a dull type. I need time for myself, and for my friends.

He needs to be someone sweet, who will cooks for me, who will watch me walking into the house when he drops me home, who will not wakes me up when i'm aslp, who will kiss me on my forehead before i sleep and will do lotsa lotsa sweet things to me =)

Lastly, he needs to be someone who is really gentleman. A not-gentleman-guy is a BIG NO for me!

Damn it's a wholly unacheivable list! I guess it's hard for me to meet this kind of man and get married, sort of impossible =P

Good thing I'm okay with being single =D

I don't need a man

2008-11-28T02:34:00.005+08:00

Yes, i can survive without man

I realised there are just too much disappointments. Do you realized that you can always get the unwanted one easily, but not the one you wanted. It's true.

I've been wandering,

I've been looking around,

I've met a few,

I've been thru,

I've been thinking dat u'll come back around

now, i'll get over, and stop hanging on

I prayed. And i been asking around,will Jesus disappoint me? And now i realized i was so damn wrong. The world runs by human being, but not Jesus. Jesus would not give me everything i prayed for. He'll accompany me all the time, giving me courage to change the things i wanted, while i need to work hard to achieve what i wanted. Disappointments is cause by human, not Jesus.

I do not need a man. I do not need any commitment. I do not to be attached.

I will have nothing to lose, since I'm not owning in the 1st place

I will not be taken for granted, since I'm not giving away

Someone taught me, boyfriend and girlfriend is just a term, what does matters is whether im feeling happy when im together with the man. I was confused, and lately, I found this works. I'll enjoy the happy moments and i do not need any commitment from the man.

I find this is a better way for me =)

Yes, Im not in mood again!

2008-11-18T01:39:00.014+08:00

Was in bloody bad mood today. It's been long enuff dat i have not feel so damn down and frustated. And it's not bcz im having mood swing or PMS.

Here Im gonna rant about things that make me feel so damn pissed off today!

1st thing, i jz started to deal with the warranty for the products such as D-Link, 3Com, Scandisk and others. Today is the 1st day i learn about the process of dealing with all these warranty matters. And so it happens that my mentor thought dat im so damn fuckin smart dat she does not need to explain in details to me. Ended up i tried to figure out the solutions one by one by crackin my head out. I feel so damn stress out! Or should i think in the other way, i could write so in my internship logbook which im gonna submit when im back in college 'I kept myself occupied, learning new things every single day, trying to solve problems and be a decision maker, meeting new ppl wit different characteristic everyday dat i've improved my interpersonal skills bla bla bla....' DUHhhhhhhhhh~!!!!

2nd thing, someone makes me feel so damn irritated today. While i was busy figuring out the solutions for my work and rampaged thru the faulty products in the boxez, this someone was free enuff to cause me some unnecessary problems. Ended up, i was feelin so damn fucked up and being rude to him, by tellin him 'I've got more den enuff problems for myself, whether u go get laid or watever u did, watever u tell others i don't gv a damn, u do not need to report to me!' I kno he was trying to grab my attention, but too bad, and it's fucking pathet for him dat he used the wrong method.

3rd thing, someone is trying to escape, by not answering me the questions i asked him. After so much things happened, i guess he wouldn't have the courage to face me anymore. Fine, forget it, i don't blame him.

So since im feelin so damn fucked up, i don't wish to go home as early as 6 and stay at home all alone, wondering who's gonna take me out. So i called Terry, Ernest, James and the gang out for gaming. Right after i called the gang out, tonite itself, Alvin dated me for dinner, and Jen said he's coming over my place. I feel like calling Ernest telling him dat we gonna call off for tonite gaming session. But i did not. I cant ditch them since all my frens are being so 'give face' when they kno im not in mood and decided to accompany me for the nite. Ended up ditch Alvin for dinner, and the hang out session. Komenasai~Hontoni komenasai =(

Just so you kno, im a noob in Dota game. But guess wat, the noob went beyond Godlike in one of the Dota games tonight! Wohhooooooo~!!!

Right after i reached home, Jen sms-ed me saying dat he's coming over my place wit someone important to him. I thought that he's gonna surprise me by telling me dat he jz got himself a new girl friend. But when he called me and told me dat he has reached, i saw no one in the car. He surprised me when i saw two furkids, J and Silvia in the car! So the two siblings were busying licking me all over my neck and my face on our 1st meeting. They looks pretty =)

Silvia being jealous and mad at J

Couldn't slp la...

2008-11-14T02:14:00.006+08:00

It's 2a.m. in the morning, and yet im stil awake.

Went for my company movie outing on friday nite at Cineleisure. We watched Quantum of Solace, and my verdict for the movie is....

It's ok la...

James Bond is merely so cool even thou he's old.

Few of us went to Santuary after the movie. Had quite a lot of fun wit Raja dat nite.

I found dat things always don't go according to my plan. Or i shud say, things don't go according to my plan most of the time. Sometimes i jz wish dat i can be true to myself. I hope dat i can be a lil bit more logical than always act emotionally. I kno well and clear things dat ppl going thru, and perhaps i shouldn't take it for granted by ask for more. I kno how ppl feel in certain situations, dat's why i try not to make ppl feel bad. So im not taking any action, but in fact i wish to.

And there's something i don't get it why. Why there r these ppl who like to being 8-po, viewing my friendster profile to figure out something. I jz don't get it wat are they able to find out after viewing my profile!

Anyway, i jz pray dat i would hv a better tomorrow... Hate to be in this way.

And thx God, at least i stil have frens who are willing to accompany me when im having hard times. Thx Ernest for calling me out jz now in da evening. Glad dat i don't have to stay at home all alone, thinking bout things that i shouldn't think of. And guess wat...he showed me his Silvia S15 convertible when he dropped me home. Never expect dat S15 convertible looks so much yeng compare to the non-convertible one. And it's rare in Malaysia!

Ernest's baby

A brand new place for me

2008-11-10T19:44:00.013+08:00

....cz i moved again. This time i move to our company warehouse. It's kinda far away from our HQ office in Wisma Academy.

Was suppose to make it to the warehouse tis morning, but i decided against it. I went back to HQ office in Wisma Academy in the morning, told Lee Sia dat i cant find the way to go to warehouse. In fact this is jz an excuse, i could jz go to Jalan 225 and ask for direction. But i did not do dat. I jz dont feel like going to warehouse. In the end, i have to. So Sim fetched me thr, and introduced me to the staffs at the warehouse. And...most of them there are 'ah neh' or Jen's so called 'Raja' (indian).

My colleagues from Wisma Academy are kind enuff. They called and asked how am i doing in the warehouse. I miss them so much. Hoping someone would come n visit me during lunch break n pick me up for meal. In the end, everybody were so bz, and Jen dont feel like comin since he's driving his R34 to office today, and promised that he's coming this wednesday.

*praying that Jen wouldn't ditch me* LOL

Im feeling so damn lonely over thr, witout Jen, Roy, Terry, Marvin and others in HQ office.

My job scope in warehouse is fine, im not bundle up wit stress, and at least it's more interesting compare to my job in Credit team. I meet up wit different ppl, requesting them to sign some documents and then do the checking before handing over the stuffs for them.

Jen came to pick me up after work. And guess wat, im the last one to leave. Everybody in the warehouse usually go home sharp at 6! WTF!

Here, im gonna tell u how pathetic i was...

Was waiting at the guard house, all alone, with a few 'ah neh' security guards. Got nothing better to do den to 'meow~' at a stray cat, and start worrying since da sky is getting darker, thinkin whether one of the 'ah neh' thr will take this chance to bring me home by bike.

Damn pathetic rite??lol

Jen got to the wrong way and needs to take a BIG u-turn to get to fetch me. Again, im sure he will thinks dat im being an ungrateful bitch again. Was so damn happy when i saw the blue-color-vroom-vroommmm passed by (he never been to warehouse before, dat's y he dunno whr it is and missed). I started jumpin while shouting at him over the phone 'IM HERE!IM HERE!!'

I feel as if i was dying to see him while i was waiting patiently. He hyped me up when i saw him appeared in front of me! Always never fail to make me happy =)

My virginity...for drifting experience

2008-11-09T00:53:00.008+08:00

Since Jen brought me to drift on the road last friday, im addicted to it so much rite now.

It's WOW!!! *thumbs up*

It's so damn F-U-N!!! And so i gave my virginity to Jen. Whooopppsss!!! Should be my drifting virginity. =P

I had my eyes concentrating on the movement of his hands on the steering, it's damn fast-and-furious and i cant catch how he did it.LOL.

Anyway, i really enjoy it when the car slides while taking corners, and i love the speed! For me this is not scary at all, instead i think dat this is an...ermmm...i should call it as an art! Haha!

Jen in action (Bukit Jalil)

If i were a boy

2008-11-01T15:21:00.005+08:00

Currently addicted to this song:

Beyonce-If i were a boy

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

You know when you act like that
I don't think you realize how it makes me look
or feel

Act like what
Why are you so jealous
It's not like i'm sleeping with the guy

What

What

I said yo
Why are you so jealous
It aint like I'm sleepin with the girl

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

if i were a boy, i would know the reason why...

Things I don't get it

2008-10-28T20:21:00.007+08:00

I jz dont get it why!!!

People who ask you to hang out, date or merely to hang out together but then ended up chose to ignore you completely then dump you for other friends. If this is what he planned, he shouldnt date you out in the first place!

Trying to make you fall for him and ended up dump you aside? And feel proud when he found you being very pathetic in trying hard to attempt on a conversation wit him when he is bent on ignoring you?? Nah...not as easy as wat you thought!

Im not as simple as wat u thought. If you are not serious enough, then jz fuck off!

So i'll choose to move on, at least it is better than being ignored!

A pissed off holiday

2008-10-27T19:48:00.006+08:00

So i jz finished my room cleaning. After one whole month, this is the 1st time i clean my room entirely.

Look back at wat i did for this whole month... I drink, i club, i hang out, i invited my frens to hv that 'you-kno-wat-izit-session' in my room. Ended up, i get drunk, i messed and dirty my room. For those who visited my room, they can see my eye shadows left opened, 'loitering' in my room; my champagne glass left unwashed on the floor, with Gold Label smell lingers on it; shopping bags thrown all around on the floor; my hasmter feizai gets slimmer, and i hope ppl will thinks that feizai went Marie France.

as i mentioned earlier, i cleaned my room. This is the effect of being 'motivated' by someone who gets me so damn pissed off and i decided to set myself free.

So, i found a way to let go the 'stim' in my body. Went Shogun Japanese Buffet and stuffed myself wit lotsa lotsa food, and i found it works! Of cz i dont afraid of weight gain. =D *Giggles*

so here's the food

Eventually i figure out something...

Gals, here's a tips for u:

If you are pissed, jz try to go for buffet and stuff yourself wit lotsa food until you feel like throw out

and if ur admirer or ur bf makes u pissed off, you may try that too, but add on wit dating your ex-bf out *great idea rite?hehe*

Im actually feeling quite contented wit my life now, even thou it sounds to be a bit 'lap sap'.

I work from monday til friday, and durin weekend i go for Dota game, club and yum cha. But im happy enuff that thr's still ppl around accompanying me. I have Terry Fong who brings me go Dota, and he is really a nice man, but married and not available anymore. Haha... And of cz Roy who goes yum cha, lunch and dinner wit me until we being misunderstand by our colleagues dat we are having some kind of office affair. LOL

p/s: Im not having any office affair la wei~!!!!!

Ur call

2008-10-21T00:29:00.002+08:00

Happy happy joy joy~~!!!

Someone called and enlighten me! love love~~

A post which she don't mean to direct to anyone

2008-10-20T18:37:00.007+08:00

somehow, she thought that everything will be fine and dandy

but here she goes...typing away on the keyboard and start blogging

which means....

She's in DEEP SHIT again

a lil thing he does, it melts her heart

a lil thing he does, might also turns her world upside down

and here she goes being sensitive, wishing someone would offer a lil reassurance. Having no idea whether she's really being sensitive, or there's some other reasons behind it that makes her feels so unsecure.

and as day goes by, it's taking her energy and her patience is running out, but she's still living in misery. She thinks 'this is not what it suppose to be!'

Do not lecture her to face the reality, cause she's tired of this fucked up life

Do not lecture her to escape from the reality, cause she's been running too much away from it

Do give her some reassurance, cause she really needs it

Another screwed up party!

2008-10-19T22:45:00.005+08:00

so i screwed up another party last nite...LOL

went to Quattro last nite. It's a new club located at Avenue K. I was so drunk that i vomit in the club and ppl busy taking care of me while thr's one man trying to take advantage on me. Christine got into fight with this man who tried to 'take care' of me.

so Shaun called me n found that i was so drunk. He drove to Avenue K and picked me up. Of cz, at 1st my frens were worrying whether they can trust him anot, and start questioning him in order to make sure that he is not one of those perverts. But im very very sure dat i can trust him.

a man carried me out from the club to the bus stop. I was really drunk and never been so drunk before, that i cant even stand straight, or even hv the strength to answer phone calls. Shaun carried me into his car, and placed me on the back seat. I was 100 over kgs to him when im drunk.Haha.My skirt was wet as ppl accidentally poured drinks on it, and the worse part is that Shaun was wondering why izit my skirt was wet. He asked Christine whether my skirt has been poured water on it and she told him NO. Worst thing, when i went dinner wit Shaun jz now, he asked me whether did i peed on my skirt. =.=" wtf is dat...

I was a big monkey in the car, climbing from the back seat to the front, disturbing Shaun while he's driving and shouting yelling and bitting ppl like a mad girl. I woke up at 9a.m. today morning and bath myself, as i cant stand to leave the smell of alcohol lingering on me.

I never plan to screw the party, all i was thinkin was that i jz wanna hv a break and chill after so much things happened in this short period. And this is wat it became in the end...I swear, i have never been so drunk before!LOL

So this is my 1st clubbing experience at Quattro.It's so damn screw right?

p/s: sorry Silva, i screwed the whole clubbing nite. Thx for the people who takes care of me, especially Christine. And also Shaun Lo, i kno i always bug u when u're about to slp. I think i dont need to say much here, as u ady kno how i feel right?LOL

How can i sustain this??

2008-10-05T21:21:00.008+08:00

and i tot everything will be alrite when im staying in PJ.
but
I was so damn wrong!

Few hours ago, i was still fine. The whole outing was able to drive my fears and problems on my mind away and i was as a lil bit cheer up.

But now, loneliness and emo-ness takes me on a ride.

So much had happened in this short period of time. How i wish someone can just come and take me away from all these. (and if i could be a lil bit selfish, there's someone who can) How i wish i can jz let everything go.

Been few nites, i slp with the bottle of alcohol besides me. That's only how i can slp... Every single nite i tried to close my eyes on all the things happened, i jz cant, cant stop thinkin bout it.
And now,I am a very confused girl. There are times when i found that things that i tot i wanted is actually not i want. Im getting even more confuse at this point of time. Lotsa different thoughts going round and round on my mind. I don't kno wat i want actually, and it hurts ppl around who cares for me. I jz hope that i can do the right thing.

I have to admit, im not strong, at all. I need someone to comfort me, and tells me not to be afraid.

And i hope i'll do the right thing. For the sake of everyone...

Im back!

2008-09-27T10:27:00.003+08:00

Finally im here! And here i go...Sitting in front of my lappie, wasting some time typing away on my keyboard.
Been not able to update my blog since I came back from my hometown, or so called my 'Kampung'---> SEGAMAT
2 hours ago...i woke up without the alarm rings
Wake up at 8 something is not what i'll do during the past semester. But now, things are different!
I have auto-set alarm in me. I do not need any alarms from my phone,do not need morning calls! At least i have a lil bit more self-discipline at this time, compare to the old me who slps at 4a.m. and wake up 2p.m. the next day.
It's been almost a month since the 1st day i start working. Ehhhhmmmm..should be doing my internship. Haha.
And i've move.
So im staying in one of the rooms, in one of the houses in one of the places in Selangor, named SS2, with 3 housemates and 2 hamsters in my room. =)

Got to go now.
Parents coming to visit me, i need to get myself ready.
Ciao~~~ =)

The night when everything turns upside down

2008-08-13T23:52:00.010+08:00

I screwed up my exam, cz Im not well prepared for my papers.
I screwed up one relationship between me n a fren of mine, cz i jz cant control myself and voice everything out.

Everything is so damn wrong recently.

Despite it's ady 11 something at nite, and goin to be 12 soon, i stil have a big stack of biz law notes to study. And my biz law paper is at 8 tomorrow morning.
Im clueless rite now.

I prayed.
I did not prayed to get something which i dont deserve. I did not prayed to stop embarrass myself again. I did not prayed for an A for tomorrow's paper.

I prayed that He will be with me, goin thru all these hard times. Gv some faith in Him.

I jz hate myself being so emotional. I hate myself throwing a tantrum to ppl around me when im not in good mood. And this might bugs them, but in fact, im heartbroken too.
Im sorry for all the crap ass i said to u.
I jz wish that we can hang out and be frens like how we used to be.

i am someone who has uncontrollable bad temper
i am someone who always has mood swing
i am someone who is pms-ing rite now
i am pessimistic
i am someone who has only a few close fren, that's why it's hard for me to find someone that i can turn to when i need to talk (That's why i blog)
i am someone who needs to remind myself to be tough and invincible, stop dwelling over the things i screwed up and focus on my biz law notes!

Baby,im sorry...

2008-07-28T16:49:00.010+08:00

Im really frustated and sad rite now! I freakin overtuned my guitar and fuck it! I broke one of the strings!
WTF la!
I cant fix it now also, since it's ady quite late, i cant go all the way to KL to get new string! I guess im the most noob guitar player in this world to be dumb enough to overtune my guitar and break the string! I've injured my baby, and he's laying on my bed rite now, the worst thing is i cant do anything to help!
My heart is bleeding la!!!

Baby, im sorry for hurting you...

Safe the no-self-discipline-and-demotivated-gal!

2008-07-21T22:11:00.008+08:00

I know im supposed to work with my Law, Biz ethics and Human Resource assignments which going to due by nxt week. I hv lotsa works to do, and lotsa revisions need to be done. This week gonna be a damn hectic one.

But look! What the heck, I'm sitting in front of the laptop typing away words irrelevant to my work! =.=" You wouldn't be surprise i know, cz tis sounds so much like me! Im a very last minute person, always last minute.

Since the commencement last week, i told myself, i have to study, tomorrow onwards!
And when tomorrow comes it becomes another tomorrow, the same thing i told myself again, I swear I will study tomorrow!

I guess i really have no self-discipline. Totally don't have at all lo! I wanted to study so badly, but i'm always too lazy, or feeling too tired. So i get myself laze around, and then i sleep off.
I've finish 1 assignment before wenlhi. So im ady damn proud and tell myself 'I did my assignment, so dont need to study today'.
But when it comes to the nite before exam, i'll then mourn over 'if only' and cry for the whole nite in front of my big stack of notes.

Apparently, im still feeling so demotivated by da assignment-i-done-before-wenlhi, and im still too lazy to work on my other assignments and test after i wrote all these shit the page.

Somebody shoot me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!

Secondary sch mates gathering

2008-07-18T15:01:00.011+08:00

So, my bitch-Chanelle is back in m'sia! And she asked us to hang out together.
On this random tuesday, we went to MidValley.

Our conversation on phone....
*Calling my bitch, Chanelle =)* Tut tut...Tut tut...
Helena: Hey u kno we got stuck in da heavy rain, we decided not to come ady, so cancel our gathering today la!
Chanelle: Tiu lei ar...
Helena: It's real, it's raning damn heavily, n we gonna get wet la. Unless we go thr by taxi lo. But it's expensive le, so we decided to cancel our gathering.
Chanelle: How expensive it is??
Helena: RM25. Unless u pay for us. And treat us a good meal, den we may consider to stick back to our old plan. Hehehe
Chanelle: RM25 only ma!
Helena: Eh no. It's RM25 per person, so it should be RM50!
Chanelle: U guys treat me as a fren or wat 1?!?! *getting phek-chek* Always take advantage on me!
Helena: Chill la, sharing is caring! Tis is FREN! *GRIN* =D
Chanelle: Ok la ok la, come now. I pay RM25 for da taxi bill.

WenLhi and I *EVIL GRIN* =D =D =D =D =D
p/s: my bitch, tis is for u! =D =D =D =D

And so, we reached MidValley.
But my bitch was late.
Wenlhi has been complaining that she wanna buy a new pair of heels since last week. So we went to Vincci.
Both of us got ourself a pair of heels!
Dont underestimate us, we woman are spendthrift, we able to shop and spend money even in 10 minutes!
And then my bitch called, we went to Dragon-I. Before tis i dont kno Dragon-I was opened in Midvalley. And I was so surprise ro hear dat Dragon-I has an outlet in MidValley! Our tour guide from aus (i mean my bitch la) showed us whr it is! And it's located at somewhr so... 'croaching-tiger-hidden-dragon' , jz behind Coffee Bean!

Food!!!

'Lil dragon Pao'

And this is the BILL!!!!

See the total amount?

Let me magnify for you!RM103.50!

So this is the victim, Che Shiau Wen, my bitch!

She's happy to pay the bill!Geezzzzzz!!!

We manage to take some photos before we dragged our ass out

Where's Wenlhi??

Was really full, until our stomach almost got burst. So we went to Coffee Bean.
Our random conversation..
Chanelle: Eh, go n get someone to take pics for us la. Janice u go.
Janice: Dont want la.
Chanelle: Then WenLhi u go.
WenLhi: Yerrr..I dont wan. U guys go la.
Chanelle: Canot la, both of us (my bitch and I) got bitchy and hiao-po look la, canot.
*Everybody refuse to go*
And here comes this very-adventurous-brave-with-bitchy-and-hiao-po-look-gal!
That's ME la!!!Wahahhahahaahahaha!

So i went to the guy sitting bside us, and asked him to snap a pic for us.
So spot the very-adventurous-brave-with-bitchy-and-hiao-po-look-gal!

Then we gals start to gossip, and we agreed that the guy who snap photo for us looks not bad wei!!!!LOL

After we leave Coffee Bean, we gals start looking for preys!!!
Our preys' basic requirement: Must be a man, not-bad-looking, dont need to be too good looking, and canot be too old. Single man! SINGLE MAN! This is da most important point!

So we start looking for preys in the mall to snap pics for us. And we got a few preys!
Here's one of the pics

Pics with my bitch!

Enjoy our gathering =)

p/s: Chanelle!!! Whr's our RM25 for da taxi bill?!?! Bank in to my acc le!!

Weekend

2008-07-14T20:47:00.007+08:00

I have a few things to blog about. First start with my saturday.I slpt at 7a.m. and got woken up by my phone, received a msg from Jo's mom saying dat he has arrived in Uni Adelaide. Then i continue to slp again until evening when i woke up, i hv my you-kno-wat-it-is-session. And then i suddenly hv this feeling to get a guitar for myself. So i do some research for guitar online.
And then...I guess im mad, real mad!
I went to midvalley and get a guitar for myself!

At nite,i went to Euphoria by Ministry of Sound.
Euphoria is a OMG-DAMN-NICE-YOU-SURE-ENJOY-THE-BEST-NEW-CLUB-IN-TOWN.And my verdict for Europhia is...

is.....

is.....

is......

is.....

actually it's ok la.

Before going to Euphoria, what i heard from my frens are like 'it's da most amazing club for malaysia's clubbers!' Everyone was like telling me how nice it is, since Euphoria is by M.O.S, and i mz go thr. But after i went thr myself, i think it's ok only.
1st thing, i dont like the place.
I jz love the soud system there.

Surprisingly, i cant get drunk dat nite!LOL

So on sunday afernoon, i received a call from Jo. It's a so-damn-surprise-me thing! =)

p/s: Dun worry Johnathan, i'll tell Jo dat a gay is missing him so badly. =D

5 in the morning

2008-07-12T04:53:00.004+08:00

Something is bugging me rite now, and i couldn't slp.

I jz wish to voice them out, but seems like I cant! I blog to express, but for some reasons, i need to keep them as secret!So wat's da point?! In the end i stil hv to bear everything without saying them out!
Who shud i talk to at tis time 5++a.m.?! I cant even voice my feelings out to the square screen in front of me!What the fuck la! Should I be that pathetic?!!!!

Solitary moment plz fuck off!
Things dat bugging me plz fuck outta my head!

I kno i've been complaining how emo i am since few days ago. Cant help la, lotsa things happened to me recently.
I wish that i could jz scream out loudly like nobody's biz at tis time!
I wish i could jz turn on my speaker to the max!
I wish i could jz grab someone from the road side to talk to!
I wish i could get drunk rite now!
I wish that i'll have balls for you to suck until they dry!

Get me a guitar NOW plz! Or a drum set will do!
Cz im EMO!
EMO
EMO
EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To kno me better, read tis =D

2008-07-11T15:24:00.007+08:00

In order for you to kno me better =D

My top 10 most favourite food:

Ribs from Tony Roma's
Haagen Dazs ice-cream
Dragon-I 'xiao long bao'
Madam Kwan's Nasi Bonjori
Marche sausage
Kim Gary cheese baked curry chicken
Sushi from Sakae
Shogun japanese buffet
Jack Daniel steak from T.G.I.F
Bitter chocolate

10 things i love doing:

Online (only when i have high speed connection)
Shopping and spend money until i get bored (only when i have enuff cash, i hate window shopping)
Blogging
Cam-whore will do, since im vain
Music
Play guitar & drum
Be bitchy =D
Yum-cha and gossip
you-kno-wat-it-is-session
Eat (i dun mind to sacrifice for food!)

5 types of guys i adore:

Hot hunks (i hate skinny bone type)
Talented (prefer those who plays music instruments)
Humourous and the-not-boring-type
Able to make me happy, and pamper me
Sweet, caring and romantic

5 things i love doing when im emo:

you-kno-wat-it-is-session
Have a drink (not orange juice or apple juice of cz =.="it's the 'ADULT DRINK')
Eat non-stop
Sleep for the whole day
Cry and scream until my neighbour shouts at me

5 things i love doing when im happy:

Jumping up and down
Sing until it rains
Do all kind of crazy stuffs
Cam-whore
Eat non-stop

10 ways to win my heart:

Present me a bouquet of 999 roses
Give me a sweet surprise
I dont mind if u compose me a song =)
Pamper me like a princess
Play me lullaby when im slping
Chanel, LV, and Gucci will do =D
Give me loads of LOVE
Do all kind of romantic and sweet stuffs for me
Decorate my room for me
Im not greedy,present me ONE star from the sky might help

My top 10 most favourite junk food:

Chipster
Potato chips
Pringles
Twisties
Mamee will be fine too

5 things i wish it could happen:

My parents allow me to bring a boyfren home (not when im about to get married)
Have more than 100 sincere frens
Have lotsa money to spend until i really get bored
Bcome a pro 'DOTA-leg', pro drummer, pro guitarist, and forever-no.1-student!
Earn a million dollar per month!

10 ridiculos things i wish to do before i die:

Make me U.S president
Date with every single HOT hunks
Own AIG and i'll date will every single football players
Have my you-kno-wat-it-is-session and drink non-stop, dont care la since im gonna die soon what
Screw all my so-called-frens
Maybe i should try to rob a bank too
Should i try to rape a man?
Buy the whole INTI Uni College
Improvise Malaysia Law
Or I should request a postpone for my death from god

My top-10 recently most addicted songs:

David Cock-Always be my baby
Calabria-Destination
Coldplay-Viva la vida
Maroon 5-Nothing Last Forever
One Republic-Say all i need
Usher-Moving mountains
Jonas Brothers-When you look me in the eyes
Jordin Sparks-One step at a time
Jimmy Eat World-23
Chris Daughtry-What about now

So now, you should feel you are 1 step closer to me!

Who's gonna stay?

2008-07-11T03:43:00.005+08:00

Ppl walk in and out from my life

Some are jz passer-by

Some you'll jz say 'hi' and 'bye'

Some you gonna remember them

Some are even able to affect you

Without notifying you, they walk in

But
When they walk out, solitude comes in

So who's gonna stays?

My pringles can

2008-07-11T02:49:00.006+08:00

I kno i've promised.

But im sorry dat i've made use of the pringles can tonite.

Jz cant help myself being so EMO.

I hate this!

2008-07-09T18:51:00.004+08:00

I jz cant help myself hating ppl being pathetic.

There are some ppl out there think dat they are the one being hurt, being abandoned, being harmed.
At time like this, they could only hope that ppl would understand him/her better.
But do they ever put themselves in others' shoes?

So stop being pathetic!
There might be other ppl out there slamming down the call, throwing things in the room, listening to a whole list of emo songs, crying their heart out.
The one being hurt the most might be the other party!NOT YOU!
It's ridiculous for you to ask ppl to understand you since u hurt him/her in the 1st place.

Of all the time, i am the one at fault.

Maison with my BABIES~

2008-07-07T19:53:00.017+08:00

So we hit Maison on Saturday nite.

Met a lot of college mates thr, since they got free entry ticket from INTIball sponsored by Maison. Somehow I felt that the crowd on Saturday is way better than on Thursday, as in not as crowded as Thursday.

The good thing is...
Stephanie joined us too, even though she was quite adamant about not going in the first place. But she was late, very very late. LOL

The club is almost vacant at 3 when it was closing. But we still took advantage to take some pics.

My baby stephanie =)

Jin and I

Nurul, Colin and me

Shoutout

2008-07-06T17:32:00.012+08:00

I feel

so.....

EMPTY

and

LONELY

right now!!!!

Everybody's gone! =(

anyway, it's just a random shoutout =.=

I really have nothing better to do =.="

2008-07-02T14:26:00.007+08:00

Im finally free now, at least for tis moment. No work, no exam, no fuss!

Surprisingly wanlin came to visit us yesterday, and she will be staying in my room until tis saturday. It's kinda nice since now i can disturb her when she slps, and hv pillow talk v her b4 we go to bed.

And guess wat yesterday was a shopping day!!! =)

Top from Zara, RedEarth eye shadow and a drum stick!!!

Last nite i did something CRAZY, something really crazy! You guys would hv never tot dat i'll do such thing! And i bet im the 1st girl in INTI who do this! I climbed into my college's swimming pool at 5a.m.

Cool rite? =.="

Climbing into da swimming pool area is not a big deal. Joshua and I went swimmin in the pool, and it's freakin COLD! We then got up from da pool and have our you-know-wat-it-is-session in the swimming pool area. It's so damn cold when we got up from the pool, and we were shivering!
*Squeals in delight*

As we were having our you-know-wat-it-is-session in the swimmin pool area, thr's some idian guys passed by. At 1st we tot dat the college security guard gonna found us.
*we fell silent for a moment*
PHEWWWW!!! Luckily those idians are students.
We watched them walking pass the swimmin pool, and continued our you-know-wat-it-is-session.

Of all sudden, the few idian guys suddenly jumped into the swimmin pool area!

I was stunted! The only thing that came into my mind was these 5 words WAT-THE-FUCK-IS-DAT!!! They throwed the diving board into the pool, and then jumped out straight from the wall. Their movement were so damn fast!

After finished our you-know-wat-it-is-session, we climbed out from the pool area immediately, jz in case if the security guard caught us red handed and thinks we are the one who throwed the diving board into the pool. Or perhaps thr'll b a hell of rumour again saying dat i had sex in the pool =.="

We then went back to somewhr near my place and sit down on the road side playin guitar, as if thr's nth happened! Was too bored, and i suddenly got tis idea!
I went to my room, outside the window, i raised up my curtain since my windows are open. Thr's wanlin slpin on my bed!
Me: Shhh...Shhh...
*Got no respond*
Me: Shhhh...SHHHHHH...SHHHH...Ng wan lin...
*Got no respond yet =.="*
Me: Ng wan lin, u BITCH!
*Wanlin woke up and pulled the curtain back*
Me: Morning wanlin, Im here to play u a song
*Joshua played Frankie J-More than words with the guitar*
*Wanlin raised up da curtain again, starts scolding us.*
A while later....

*Wanlin raised up the curtain and starts singing. After a while, she starts scolding us again and next she went back to slp*

I felt really bad for waking you up Wan Lin,i swear =)

Always Be My Baby

2008-06-26T14:42:00.007+08:00

Addicted to this song =)
David Cook - Always Be My Baby

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free yeah
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

Chorus:
You'll always be a part of me (oooohhhh)
I'm part of you indefinitely (oooohhhh)
Girl don't you know you can't escape me (ooooohhhhhh)
Ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time cant erase a feeling this strong (ohhhh)
No way you're never gonna shake me (oh baby)
Ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Things i love doing the minute i hop out from my bed

2008-06-24T17:55:00.006+08:00

It's in the evening, and yet im stil in my bed. =D

These are the things i love doing the minute i hop out from my bed!

Laze around. And then i'll sleep off again
Listen to music while slacking in my comfort zone-my BED for hours and hours before i bursh my teeth!
Cam-whore. Cant help myself wit my narcissism
I blog =)
Check out my hamsters, see whether they are dead

I can do all these for the whole day. Guess tis is the reason why i've become a recluse

When u have a-lil-bad-behaved frens =D

2008-06-24T10:18:00.006+08:00

Jz got back from my 8oclock class half an hour ago, feeling so tired and exhausted.
And guess wat, it's exactly like wat my lecturer said, 'students always come to class feeling tired bcz they had alcohol the nite before'!

BINGO for him! Yes, he's rite! I L.O.V.E drinking and have my open-window-jacob-cup session a.k.a playground-chit-chatting session a.k.a calvin's-balcony-scenery-view sessions wit my FRENSS. Tis is the 2nd or 3rd time i suppose, i went to class with my mind occupied by Black Label, Chivas, Vodka and bla bla bla...

Chilled wit my frens last nite, we smuggled a bottle of Black Label out from hostel and went to Calvin's place. We went drinkin at his place, and had our calvin's-balcony-scenery-view session(they guys would kno wat i mean. Teeeeheeeeee~).
We poured the Black Label with Zaple juice and mixed it wit Coke gas, and make it a 2 layers drink.God bless me and Stephanie wont 'lao sai' after this.
*We got tipsy*

Hanging out wit them is never boring

How i wish i could hv kno u guys earlier
and Joshua, u shud reveal the real side of u earlier wei!!!

A super duper once in a blue moon post for my bitch, Chanelle

2008-06-23T17:43:00.011+08:00

I just had my organization behavior test this morning. Couldn't concentrate on my test paper. My mind was distorted, even now it still. Been staring at my test paper, musing for few moments. Lotsa things jz came in and out of my mind. Ended up i passed up a very cin-cai-answered test paper.
I supposed i'll skip my law class after the test. But in the end i dragged my ass to the class.

Tis week gonna to be an intensive one, since i'll have another test for human resource management tis thursday. The worse thing bout tis is i never pay attention in the class. I hate the lecturer due to some reasons. It's really a long story, never want to mention bout it. Overall, he's a fuckin fat,hairy and sensitive mother asshole from Pakistan.

Effects of too much pressure, n due to i've been overwhelm by lotsa problems recently, of all sudden, i miss u.Chanelle. =(
Miss our open-window-jacob-cup session
Miss the moment when i almost suffocated in ur room when i was sick
Miss the days when i stayed overnite and nitessss at ur place
And turns out my pee pee smells like alcohol! ok i kno it's disgusting.

Was so relief rite after my test finished jz now and i hit the music room of my college. Played drum with my very personal drum tutor =D

I enjoyed it thou i always messed the beats due to my very-not-pro-skill.

I've actually planned to study for my thursday test rite after i came back, but look, wat i'm doin now?! Shud hv ask someone to confiscate my lappie. =D

The bitch!

2008-06-22T12:53:00.008+08:00

Well, i woke up at 7 today, had my breakfast at somewhr near my college. After breakfast i went to McD to study for my tomorrow's test.

And den, i heard something ridiculous! And it's real ridiculous! So Im gonna voice them out now!
It jz started off like tis...

Him: Someone told me something bad bout u
Me: Huh?Who is dat?
Him: Someone who u dunno.
Me: Oh yea?So wat's da fella commented bout me?
Him: He told me dat you stayed in a room with a guy, and she said dat u are kinda desperate for love. And she called u 'the thin gal'
Me: Who da hell is dat?
Him: Uhmmm...someone who u dunno, but i belive dat the gal is quite close wit u
Me: Xiuwoon? Wenlhi? I dun think dat's possible
Him: It's a fren of dat gal told her dat u stayed in a room wit a guy, n nxt u kno wat they gonna said
Me: U mean i had sex?
Him: Uh..yea
Me: What the....
Me: Who's dat bitch?
Him: I seldom talk to tis gal, and tis gal jz happened to send me a msg thru msn and told me bout tis. She asked me to be cautious, but i jz ignored it.
Me: Uhmm... I did stayed in a room wit XXXXXX, but we did nth. He was not feelin well after he drank some cheap liquor dat his frens bought, n he jz fall on da bed like a dead man. I kno u gonna think dat i've really fucked wit dat guy
Him: No, i dont
Me: Yes, u do! And i can roughly guess who's dat gal who spread tis rumour!

Another conversation between me and tis guy named XXXXXX(few days ago)
XXXXXX: U kno, last nite i went to 'tis gal' place.
Me: And then?
XXXXXX: 'Tis gal' told me something. She told me dat her fren actually got crush on me, and she saw both of us in da room on da other day. She asked me 'U are not dat kind of guy rite?'
Me: Ya, i can roughly guess and i observed dat her fren got some special feelings towards u. So 'tis gal' she thinks that i seduced u and fucked wit u?
*rolled eyes*
XXXXXX: Uh..yea.
Me: .......
Im speechless! And im impressed =.="

Tis r gals, when she failed to catch the guy's attention, while the guy is payin attention jz on u!
as if she's gonna have dat guy's attention after tis!
Or when she gets jealous of u, trying to backstab you
as if she's gonna be more superior than u afterwards!

PISS OFF!

U bitch out thr, i kno who u r, but u dont kno dat I actually dun gv a damn on wat u commented on me!

The Introduction

2008-06-21T19:18:00.008+08:00

Hi guys,im so surprise dat im back in da mood to blog AGAIN!

why blog?

BLOG=Bisexual,Lesbian,Or Gay?

WTF is that?!

I've been stop blogging for bout 1 year, cz it's a waste of time, n it's hard for ppl like me to spend half an hour a day to maintain it. Nevertheless, im gonna blog again tis time, guys plz bless i'll come back n post more again after tis!Haha

Stay tune, u'll prolly be able to see new post coming up next =)

~*confession of a bitch*~